Recently, while shopping, I found a beautifully bound blank book and on the front the title, Dreams. I coveted that book and though the $4 required would not have broken the budget, I bypassed it. At the time, I felt I spent enough time and space recording my nightly dreams in my journal.

The longing continued well after I got home. I wanted that little book, yet I just could not justify the purchase. "After all", I said to myself, "why record your dreams anyway?" At the time, I was thinking only of the dreams I have at night when I rest, and while they are revelatory at times, often they are a jumble of the previous day's conversations, passing thoughts over a tv viewing, etc.

I had completely ignored the wonderful possibilities of the little book. Dreams are not only what we dream at night, but those secret desires of the heart that we tell no one for fear they will prove even more intangible. The home business we dream of building. The book we long to write and are certain we can never attempt. The ballet lessons we long desired as a girl, and still desire at 40. The piano lessons that were not affordable when we were children and for which we yearn now. The desire to join the little theater, though it would mean yet another time commitment.

It is a portion of ourselves we long to let live, to bring forth the person that we have yet to be,that lies in the heart of each of those dreams. Yet we must be prepared to discover that we do not change dramatically once a dream is realized. We change, yes we do, but only a portion of ourselves changes. The big change occurs gradually.

We achieve a deeper satisfaction from our lives, and that is the real catalyst of at least attempting a dream. Anytime we feel happy with one area of our life, we begin to look at the rest of our life to determine what we can do to change those other areas that offer us the least satisfaction. Change has a ripple effect, just like a pebble thrown into a pond; one change will lead to another, and another, and another, until we have altered our lives completely.

Sometimes the dream does not work out. We try ballet, but our joints are not able to stand the strain. We take the piano lessons and find we do not have an ear for music. Rather than look at these things as failure, we should allow them to encourage us. After all, we may really be great at acting in the little theater. Or perhaps we will find that our sewing skills make us a part of the theater through costume design. Our ability to create through paint might allow us to be a wonderful set designer. We will not know until we try.

What can we do to attempt to manifest our dreams? One woman slept with a picture of the house she desired under her pillow. She was sending a message to the heavens of her deep desire and longing for the home of her dreams. We can do that too. Keep in mind, we must be specific about what we desire. And realistic too. We are not going to be concert pianists just because we buy a piano. We must be prepared to accept that occasionally dreams require a lot of work and sweat, as well as a heartfelt yearning. No amount of wishing is going to get the book written, if you are unwilling to sit down and write it. Dreams unfortunately, require discipline, and sometimes that is the very thing we resist the most and must overcome. We must determine if the dream is worth working for, sacrificing in large and small ways, and if the later enrichment of our lives will make it all worthwhile.

When I determined, despite a time of hurt in intimate relationships, that I would venture into another relationship, I faced a fear that I was not't worthy of what I dreamed. I had always been careful to be what others wanted, and previous relationships had ended in disaster. But in letting go of my fear, and being myself, I found, and have been able to maintain, a relationship that is rewarding beyond any I dreamed.

When I dreamed of my "perfect" companion, I failed to dream of the faults he would have, as well. It was a struggle with a better reasoning self, at times, to not ditch the relationship simply because he had faults. I hung in there, able to acknowledge that he is the companion I dreamed of in every way, save his faults. And they are not such a bad swap for what I have received. I have a real live breathing man as my companion, not the one dimensional one I dreamed of.

It is often that way with our dreams. We cannot dream all the wonderful possibilities they will manifest, good and problematic. We dream only a portion of what we receive.

There's a song from Disney's Sleeping Beauty that begins " A dream is a wish your heart makes..."; it is the dreams our heart makes when we are wide awake that really drive us. It is simply up to us to determine whether we are ready to accept the responsibility for our dreams coming true, warts and wonders, all rolled into one.

Terri Cheney (c)2001

About the Author : Terri is a regular columnist for the quarterly ezine Artrageous Women, and a weekly columnist for the ezine Frugal Simplicity. She is a regular columnist for the new ezine ParentingForOne. She has had items published online at Comfort Queen, Seeds of Simplicity, and Woman Links. She was recently one of the winners of Momscape's "What Our Children Teach Us" contest, and has won placement in The Published Writer, as well as being published in the WordMage ezine. Terri is a wife and mother, and is currently working on her book, "The Emerging Goddess". She may be reached for comments at tea_cee1@yahoo.com