Why is it so beyond the realm of possibility to admit that moms can also be articulate, intelligent, driven and uncompromising? Why are we still pigeonholed as SUV-driving, car pooling, smile-while-you-shred-someone makers of apple pie?

People say and do things and events happen in life that affect us to a certain level of an immediate positive or negative response. But that is not the problem. The real source of negative reactions — that increase our sense of failure, discontentment, unhappiness and turmoil — is the meta-conversations we privately carry on inside our own heads about these things or events.

There is no aspect of ourselves that we judge with a more critical eye than our bodies. We have been taught from the time we were little what we SHOULD look like, how our bodies SHOULD be, what is "acceptable," and what will bring us approval and "love" from others.

Would you know if you were in an abusive relationship? If your answer is that you're not sure, look to the subtle communication patterns of abusive relationships and you'll discover what maintains and what stops domestic abuse