I'm by no means an expert, but it seems to me that relationships are like a collection of gears. Each piece depends upon the others to travel in a specific manner for the machine to function. If even the smallest, seemingly most insignificant piece stops moving, or has the audacity to change direction, the nature of the machine changes.

There is a great deal of power in this realization. It clears a path from the victim mind-set. The focus is no longer 'How can he/she be so thoughtless/selfish/destructive/cruel ?'. By refusing to play by the accepted game plan, the machine has to change direction. The important thing is no longer what the other person is doing or expects. Once you stop reacting, the point becomes what you want and will accept in your life. Everything and everyone else is warmly invited to hit the road, thank you very much.

Chances are, putting an end to the accepted cadence won't be met with applause. As a case in point, after asking for a divorce, I find myself the recipient of a truckload of flack. Making waves in a pool of complacency has a price. Knowing that I've made the healthiest choice for myself and my kids, though, it is easy to brush this off and walk away. All the hot air in the world won't change what I know as fact; I have the power to choose.

There isn't a machine in the world with more power than that.

blessings,

Catie

Copyright 2003 WomanLinks.com

About the Author : Catie Hayes is founder/editor of WomanLinks.com. She is a freelance writer, a homeschooling mom of two, and an avid fan of laughter, cats and chocolate (not necessarily in that order).