Soapbox

The following poem appeared on the HNA discussion list this past week. I was immediately moved by it, and surprised at the reaction it generated from many list members. After reading some responses and the experiences of these women, it became quite clear that there were two ways for me to relate to this.

On the one hand, I often have days where I just want someone else to take the reigns for a bit. How I miss the security I felt as a young child; no concept of time, no understanding of the financial wizardry required to run a house with children, no idea what was going on in the world beyond my neighborhood.

Several women responded to this piece by retelling horror stories of their childhood; verbal and physical abuse, no sense of security or safety. Thankfully, many were finding the sense of peace and safety in their adult years that was non-existent for them in childhood.

After listening to these stories, I had to go back and re-read the poem with a different pair of eyes. The reality is, like everyone I think, my childhood was far from ideal. I felt safe until the age of 10 when my mom died. Her last breath signaled the end of her life, and the end of my childhood and my family as I knew it. There would never again be a time in my life where I felt fully comfortable, innocent or secure to that degree.

I have put that part of my childhood, where I felt safe, in a little box in my mind. I go back to it now and then for a point of reference for relating to my children, when I crave a moment of inner peace, trying to remember what it felt like to be whole.

The reason I am including this poem is not tell the story of my life, but as a stepping stone for some thought. It is my greatest wish that we all had or have some place or time in our life from which to draw strength, peace and serenity.

I WANT TO BE 6 AGAIN

To Whom It May Concern:
I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult. I have
decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of a 6 year old again.
I want to go to McDonald's and think that it's a four star restaurant.
I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make ripples withrocks.
I want to think M&Ms are better than money, because you can eat them.
I want to play kickball during recess and paint with watercolors in art.
I want to lie under a big Oak tree and run a lemonade stand with my
friends on a hot summers' day.
I want to return to a time when life was simple. When all you knew were
colors, addition tables and simple nursery rhymes, but that didn't bother
you, because you didn't know what you didn't know and you didn't care.
When all you knew was to be happy because you didn't know all the things
that should make you worried and upset.
I want to think that the world is fair. That everyone in it is honest andgood.
I want to believe that anything is possible.
Somewhere in my youth...I matured and I learned too much.
I learned of nuclear weapons, war, prejudice, starvation and abusedchildren.
I learned of lies, unhappy marriages, suffering, illness, pain and death.
I learned of a world where men left their families to go and fight for our
country,and returned only to end up living on the streets...begging for
their next meal.
I learned of a world where children knew how to kill...and did!!
What happened to the time when we thought that everyone would live
forever, because we didn't grasp the concept of death? When we thought the
worst thing in the world was if someone took the jump rope from you or
picked you last for kickball? I want to be oblivious to the complexity of
life and be overly excited by little things once again.
I want to return to the days when reading was fun and music was clean.
When television was used to report the news or for family entertainment
and not to promote sex, violence and deceit. I remember being naive and
thinking that everyone was happy because I was. I would walk on the beach
and only think of the sand between my toes and the prettiest seashell I
could find. I would spend my afternoons climbing trees and riding my bike.
I didn't worry about time, bills or where I was going to find the money to
fix my car. I used to wonder what I was going to do or be when I grew up,
not worry about what I'll do if this doesn't work out.
I want to live simple again.
I don't want my day to consist of computer crashes, mountains of
paperwork, depressing news, how to survive more days in the month than
there is money in the bank, doctor bills, gossip, illness and loss of
loved ones. I want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth,
justice, peace, dreams, the imagination, mankind and making angels in thesnow.
I want to be 6 again.
-Author Unknown

all the best,

Catie

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About the Author : Catie Hayes is founder/editor of WomanLinks.com; a community of support, spirituality, growth and empowerment for women. She is a freelance writer, the single homeschooling mom of two, and an avid fan of laughter, spontaneous dancing, cats and chocolate (not necessarily in that order).