If you're serious about surviving an affair you must start by asking yourself a question. Do you know what you really want?

We recommend that regardless of whether you're the cheated or the cheating partner you are totally honest with yourself and your partner and decide whether you really want to stay in the relationship, irrespective of whether your partner does.

Sometimes the easiest course of action in the short term is not the best one in the medium or long term. That's why you really need to be honest. If you choose the easy option now you may just be putting off the difficult one.

If it's just a case that you don't know yet what you want, then that's perfectly natural. You're still in a state of confusion and need more time. But if you do know, then be brave enough to take the appropriate action.

Whatever your situation, you need to be prepared to go into a new relationship. You've probably heard the saying 'if you keep doing the same old things you're going to continue getting the same old results'. So whether you stay with your current partner or leave them and eventually find a new one, you need to treat either as a new relationship.

If it's a new relationship with a different partner you need to make sure you don't take the mistakes of your last one with you. If you and your current partner want to move forward together by repairing and strengthening your relationship, then things of course need to be different.

About the Author : Doug and Chris Young are Relationship Coaches who really can walk the talk, having survived infidelity in their own marriage and come out of it much stronger http://www.askdougandchris.com