If you really want to be free of what others think about you, get to a place of Self Love. May I share with you how that happened for me?
For me, it was opening to the Love and Light in others. I didn't really know that everything I see outward is a reflection of my inner world. Each morning I asked God to show me everything through his eyes. I saw no progress for two months. Everything still looked pretty ugly/spooky/dim in the world. It took a good while before the glistening effects set in but, I kept up the mantra, day after day, and within about a year, the fog started to slowly lift. It was not easy. It required a deep desire for peace.
As the fog lifted, and I began to see people for who they *really* are. These were quick glimpses mind you, but peeks beyond the veil nonetheless. I was suddenly able to engage with some people in a different way; without fear, and with more compassion. As I saw others with Love and compassion, I began to see myself that way. This was a lengthy, often painful process. As I reached out more and more to see the Love and light in others, I would see it in myself. I didn't expect that.
Whenever my ego would tempt me to see the guilt and fear in others, I would consciously decide to reject it and invite Love. There were times when this was so painful and heart wrenching, as I tried to hold on tight to my need to be right, that it nearly killed me. This was, and is, the major spiritual discipline I invoke daily. It doesn't work perfectly, but it works to move me along very well. It is the single most important daily practice for me. The healing that comes from dedication and unwavering discipline is extraordinary.
When it comes to standing in your light and power, and not worrying about what others think, it is the natural blossoming of your Highest Self. Your freedom will unfold automatically as a result of your forgiving mind. You will know when you get to that point, because the pain of the world's fearful projections will not hurt as bad, or in the same way.
People don't mean to hurt you. Not in truth. In truth, they would love nothing more than to hold you in their arms and cry tears of joy that you love each other. This is the truth. Operate from this belief.
For me, I won't say that I am never hurt by what others do and say. That would be ridiculous. I'm still human. But, I reset very soon after I have the initial thought to accept what people think of me as truth. Rarely, do I allow myself to go into the abyss of pain because of something someone did, or said. I ask for release, fill my heart with light, own my mistake, and that's that. Then, I let it go. I can't think of the last time I let something fester for very long before resetting. I totally understand the harm I do to myself in that. So, I don't do it. I firmly choose not to. But, a genuine release requires four things.
Owning your own mistakes. Yes, you made some. Fear attracts Fear. Love attracts Love.
Seeing the other person with Divine light.
Ask that the effects from all the unloving thoughts, words and actions involved, be undone.
Sincere willingness to learn from the moment, so you will see yourself.
When you are on this journey, you will earn respect for yourself because, to your core, you know what the truth *feels* like, and it will feel good to you to have arrived here. It probably wasn't easy. You have touched your center, and you like it there. No one goes backwards from here if they have an ounce of intelligence.
A dedicated spiritual healing path will give you freedom. A dedication to see the world and everything in it, as you want to be seen is an age old lesson told ions ago. No new thoughts have changed that elemental truth. Will you always succeed? Of course not. You will often forget to remember. It is a given. Accept it. Love all parts of your gorgeous self and do the very best you can. Nothing matters more than your own path. Do not allow the judgments of others to distract you. Your mistakes do not define you unless you allow them to. Love defines. This is the part you will understand. If you are experiencing more fear than love in your life, then that is what you are invested in. To the degree you allow others to be who they are, mistakes and all, is the degree you will allow yourself the freedom and peace you seek.
The day will come, if it hasn't already, when you will Love yourself enough to overcome all things that could hurt you.
I am still on this journey. I have set backs each day. But, when I close my eyes at night, I affirm in my Divinity, and reset with the Light in my heart. I rarely wake up worried. This is freedom.
