As we come into the holidays do you experience stress, are you tired of being pulled in all directions? Do you find that you are eating pumpkin pie in too many different homes? It's time to put your foot down! Make your own holiday. Set up a tradition allowing everyone to have a great time.

Too many times I hear the same old story. "I have to traipse my whole family first to my family's home and then to his family's home. It's exhausting!" If you're a blended family, you may have to go to two different homes as well. You may be the one having people traipse in and out of your house all day. It always depends on the phase of life you're in. How do we stop all the madness?

In the first place think about what the purpose of the holiday is; to spend time with your family and friends giving thanks for everything you've received. Thanksgiving is not just about getting together for good food, football or after Thanksgiving Day sales.

Why not start your own tradition of quality time with loved ones that fits your personality and lifestyle.

Now you might be the person that likes doing all of the cooking, cleaning and setting up. That is GREAT. I used to like it at one time myself. Now I hunger for more simplistic, meaningful family time. And for those of you who write to me about bouncing from home to home, take charge of your holidays. Say NO if you need to. Make it simple, fun and meaningful.

We have discovered how to survive the holiday madness. Have a quick meeting with all who are involved and lay out your thoughts or plans, (wink wink). Get quick input and ideas of what everyone thinks. Or, just say what you are planning and let whoever wishes be involved. Think about different ways to let everyone be involved.

1. Idea #1 - Mail a list of foods to bring or some other form of involvement for everyone invited. Here is what one of my letters might look like...

   Dear Family and Friends,
   In order for all of us to have a great day to give thanks, please sign up for at least one of the items listed below. All food items need to feed 14 people.

   • Cranberry Sauce
   • coffee and condiments
   • Pumpkin Pie
   • Clean Up after meal
   • Stuffing
   • Make and serve coffee
   • Salad
   • Vegetable
   • Ice Cream

   If you have old photos of family or friends that you think would be interesting to everyone else, please bring them. Be prepared to eat around 4:00PM.

2. Idea #2 - Call all invited parties and tell them what you need. Ask them which they would like to do, bring a food or help set up or clean up. Have them commit right then and there. Next take your list and send out postcards stating something like this...

   Dear ________,
   Thank you so much for committing to bring cranberry sauce to Thanksgiving Dinner on Thursday, Nov. 25th. I can't wait to see you around 4:00PM!

   There's not much room for error here.

   Now as for the immediate family in the home that's hosting, make a list for everyone to sign up. My list might look like this...

   • Vacuum
   • Dust
   • Clean Bathrooms
   • Go shopping
   • Mop floor
   • Empty all trash cans
   • Put kleenex in every room
   • Make sure all toilet paper rolls are full
   • Put fresh hand towels in all bathrooms and kitchen
   • Sweep front walkways
   • Set table with ______ dishes (specific dishes used on the holidays)

   If you put it in writing and people sign their name next to it, it gives them a sense of possession which allows them to take pride in what they are doing. It's mostly the thought of it being written down and everyone else knowing what their task is that makes this work.

3. Idea #3 - For those of you who have to do the traipsing, call all the homes that you need to attend. Ask them if you can bring ______. Try to get them all to let you bring the same thing. It makes it easier. Tell them that you can arrive at approximately ____ (PM/AM, whatever) because you have 2 or 3 etc. other places you need to get to that day. Take charge of what you're comfortable bringing and at what time you're comfortable getting there. If you call and tell people what you CAN do, you have just taken charge of that situation.

 

4. Idea #4 - The extreme opposite is what we are doing this year. Our family has decided to go to a Thanksgiving Family Camp. I'll actually get to have Thanksgiving Dinner and not cook or clean it up. At the same time, I will get a chance to be thankful with my immediate family in beautiful, PEACEFUL surroundings.

Now apply these steps to Hanukkah, Christmas, etc... and "TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR HOLIDAYS"!

May your holiday season be filled with love, joy, and PEACE!

About the Author Susie Glennan owns the Busy Woman's Daily Planner, is a married mom of three children: girls aged 9 and 14, and a boy, 11 and homeschools her three children. After 17 years of marriage, Susie and her husband got into the business to enhance the quality of family life for themselves and others.