Q. I just moved to a new state to take a new job. Just before moving, my relationship broke up. So now I am away from my family and close friends. Any tips for surviving the holidays on my own?

A. You may be alone on the holiday, but you're not alone with this question. Every year I get dozens of queries like this one. (I also get asked, "How can I hide from my family this year?" but that's another article.) Here are five of my own highly biased, irreverent tips to survive and thrive a solo holiday.

1. Scratch the stereotypes.

   Many of us have come to believe that, "If we're alone on a holiday, something's wrong with us." I've met people who are so terrified of being alone they'll spend hours with people who range from insulting to tiresome to abusive. And I've met people who actually enjoy their holiday solitude: they'd rather curl up with a good book and a new DVD, thank you very much.

   Lots of people are alone - many by choice. No need to feel guilty or weird.

2. Avoid invitations that feel like "any port in a storm."

   When you're new on the job, often colleagues will invite you to spend the holidays, or at least come for dinner. I recommend using caution. Most people need time to figure out who's what in a new organization, not to mention the families of your new colleagues. Often these invitations lead to rich, rewarding relationships. But other times you find yourself witnessing an embarrassing family confrontation, after which your colleague avoids you for the next month. Or you discover your colleague had a hidden agenda relating to the job. Or you discover your colleague's family didn't really want company.

   My biased perspective: Better to survive a tough day than to set up a situation that could haunt you for weeks.

3. Create plans so you can truthfully say, "Yes, I have a place to go." You can always change your mind.

   With good weather and highway access, you can drive to a nearby town for some sight-seeing. Consider a day in the park, preferably with your dog, or a long walk on the beach. Make arrangements to call friends and family in faraway places. With enough time and money, you can travel even longer distances. I've met lots of people who go to ski resorts, casinos, or foreign countries to escape major holidays.

   Accept invitations only if you're really excited about saying yes. Your hosts will pick up your enthusiasm and you'll be welcomed as an honored guest, not a stray visitor.

4. Offer to volunteer - if you're really needed and you really want to do something.

   In my experience, soup kitchens, humane societies and other charitable organizations tend to be inundated with volunteers on major holidays. My suspicion: Lots of people will do just about anything to escape their families! Check out options and make sure you'll be put to work.

   Don't feel guilty if you'd rather do something else: involuntary volunteers are not conducive to holiday cheer.

5. Keep busy.

   Make a list of things you want to do on the holiday itself. Some people create rituals; others plan one year at a time. Include provisions for rain, snow, hurricanes and unexpected phone calls.

   Faced with list on a snowy day, you may decide you'd rather do nothing. But having a "to do" list gives your day a sense of purpose and who knows? You may actually accomplish something you really value, such as a chapter on your new novel or a piece of art you can share. Get absorbed and you'll forget you're supposed to be having a holiday.

A final word: When you go back to work, you'll be asked, "How was your holiday?"

There's only one answer - no matter what. "It was terrific!" Share your frustrations only with a very close friend - someone not connected to your career or business - or hire someone who can listen confidentially.

About the Author : , is an author, speaker and career/business consultant. Read more from Cathy at at http://www.cathygoodwin.com/