SoapboxOne thing I've become proficient at as a single parent is the fine art of projected worry. My focus  goes far beyond the insignificant boundaries of what is currently happening. I overshoot the mark on a regular basis, and also consider what could happen IF ..........(feel free to fill in the blank with pretty much anything) You see, I'm not just any old worrier, I have become 'Omni-worrier'. Basically, you can't have a contingency plan if you don't know what could be waiting around the next corner, ready to pounce. It is almost as if by covering all possible bases with pre-emptive worry, I'm somehow going to have the ability to prevent the big IF. Hey, I'm good in the superpowers department, but the reality is no one is that good. Who is to say whether or not I still would have blossomed into the full flower of my Worry-dom had my life taken some different turns. Seeing that I'm the place where the proverbial buck stops, there is some reason to my madness, emotionally draining as it can be. I know what it feels like to have the ground beneath my feet disappear. Like any single parent, I know what it is like to have lost my sense of self and identity for a time. I will not ever repeat that experience, nor would I wish it on anyone. I think it is probably a pretty common thing for single parents to feel this way. We all know from experience that bad things happen and often we just don't see them coming. As parents we want to do everything in our power to provide stability and a safe haven for our kids. As individuals shouldering a pretty hefty responsibility, we just want a moment of peace. Awhile back, a girlfriend forwarded a quote that at first glance was rather amusing. Subsequent readings, however, resonated to my very core. The quotation is from A.A. Milne : "Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?"
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh.
After careful thought Piglet was comforted by this. For all the days when hell breaks loose and the unthinkable falls in our laps, how often do we stop to notice all the days we skate through relatively unscathed? For all the lies we've ever been told by one person, how often do we note the honesty of others? For all the love that was ever withheld, how often do we marvel at the love freely given in our lives? Coming out the other end of any trauma changes your perspective. Regaining your bearings requires the release of the shell-shock and the ability to look at life with the wisdom of measured optimism. Choosing not to expect continual disaster and looking instead to what is right is a powerful way to re-claim and own your life. Sure, I know the sky can fall. I'm just working towards the point of not expecting it all the time. Blessings,
Catie © copyright 2006 WomanLinks.com
About the Author : Catie Hayes is founder/editor of WomanLinks.com; a community of support, spirituality, growth and empowerment for women. She is a freelance writer, the single homeschooling mom of two, and an avid fan of laughter, spontaneous dancing, cats and chocolate (not necessarily in that order). |
