Soapbox

As I prepared Linda Sharp's article, 'Green Eggs & Bomb' to run on WomanLinks.com this week, the existance of a suicide bomber/mother haunted me. I sadly considered the situation from several angles. I must say, from the beginning, the violence and loss generated by this woman's act is beyond my comprehension. That such violence is commonplace in much of the world also eludes my full grasp. Only by sheer luck do I live in a place where violent death is not the norm. My neighbors and family members were never murdered because of their ethnicity or religious beliefs. In this respect, I live a very sheltered life and have no grounds to judge the actions of a mother halfway around the world. I can't possibly appreciate what her life was like, or what it was like raising children under such volatility.

I do, however, share what she and any mother feels towards her children. The stereotype of motherhood is an image of a gentle, nurturing caretaker. While the experience of carrying, birthing, and nursing a child lends itself to this image, like anything, there is a flipside. Assuming one accepts the notion that a mother's primary instinct is to nurture and care for her offspring, under extreme conditions, this instinct becomes fierce. Nurturing becomes protection at all costs, and if a threat is perceived, no cost is too great.

Hypothetically, we can ask ourselves, as mothers, how we would react to the sight of our children in a burning building. Would any of us not risk our own lives to save them? Doubtful. What if we saw another adult come at our child with a weapon, would any of us hesitate to put ourselves between our child and the threat?

While I cannot condone this woman's act, nor presume to offer judgment on resolution of the Israeli/Palestinian conflict, on some level, part of me can understand a mother doing the unthinkable in hopes of ending a threat to her children. In a place where lives end if you choose a bus or nightclub coincidentally targeted by a suicide bomber, or if you can't show adequate documentation of your identity, the unthinkable has become the norm.

In my own sheltered experience, I have done what I never imagined when I feared for my children's physical and emotional well-being. One of my woman friends, a normally quiet, reserved mother of two, became a juggernaut fighting an insurance company's bureaucracy to get her son occupational and speech therapy he clearly needed. Another stands up to her husband insisting they stop trying to handle it alone and get their child therapy. Clearly, these examples don't fully parallel the life or death reality of the Middle East, but each is a mom willing to push all limits for the benefit of her child.

Moms are the grown up version of sugar and spice. We're a soft retreat for hurt feelings. We are an endless source of hugs, lectures, advice and worry over our children. Make no mistake about it, though, we are also made of steel.

blessings,

Catie

Copyright 2004 WomanLinks.com

About the Author : Catie Hayes is founder/editor of WomanLinks.com; a community of support, spirituality, growth and empowerment for women. She is a freelance writer, the single homeschooling mom of two, and an avid fan of laughter, spontaneous dancing, cats and chocolate (not necessarily in that order).