Health

 The answer to that question is simply by putting the left foot down, picking it up and putting down the right foot, then repeating that sequence over and over. Healing from any trauma is done in inches, feet and miles, one step at a time. The highway to emotional health and wholeness may be a long or a short one, but it is best done with supportive people who want what is best for you. Recognizing that you are not a statistic, victim or powerless human being is the first step on that road. What happened to you is not who you are. Who and what are separate issues. This concept is sometimes hard to grasp, but try to visualize a car accident where you received a broken arm and a concussion to your head. You are not a wreck, you were in a wreck.

You may need medical assistance to re-set your broken bones and perhaps physical therapy to regain full use of the muscles. You may have some lingering effects of being hit on the head, but you will seek out those who can help you to learn new ways of coping with life. It is the same concept when you are healing from an "emotional accident." The hard work of healing will be up to you, but professionals can give you tools and assistance based on their long years of study and experience. You don't have to do it alone. Find the very best therapists and support groups who will guide and direct you on this road back to the wholeness you deserve.

I loved what Kimberly Steward said in her book The Dog House Angel - from the darkness of abuse to the light of healing: "the important step is to choose to survive by changing the cycle, not enduring and perpetuating it. The goal must be to fight the inner messages that tell us we must hurt to keep from being hurt, and to choose to extend the kindness and compassion we desired, not what we have experienced."

Abused children are given a lot of false information about themselves and the world. They have been betrayed by those they thought would protect them from harm. It may take time and energy to process and to re-program what it means to be whole for you. You may have to start again to discover the wonderful person who you were meant and deserve to be. It is not easy to overcome any shame, blame or misinformation you have been carrying around inside your head and heart. No matter what you were told, the truth is that no one deserves to be hurt, manipulated and used for sexual gratification. It was not your fault.

There is no one right way to heal. Each person has to find the way that is best for them. It has been my experience that all healing must begin in the spirit. You have been hurt at your cellular level and you need to heal from the inside out. You must acknowledge and accept that while bad things may have happened to you, you are not a bad person. You must also recognize that while you had the misfortune of being hurt by someone, not all people are that way. Most people are good and want to help and support others. There are those people, modalities and therapies out there that will be instrumental in your recovery. Look hard until you find just the right ones for your story and your life. You are empowered to choose wisely.

As an individual, you have choices to make so that you do not dwell in the past and let the trauma eat you alive. Find help and support so that you can acknowledge the pain and unfairness of it all and move forward to a better life. You can be the one to break the cycle of erroneous thought and inappropriate behavior and help the next generations to treat others with respect, love and compassion. Good luck on your journey. You deserve to have a happy and fulfilling life. Take the first step. You can make it. I believe in you .