I swam in silent volumes
Poured from cut-glass decanters
Peered through amber colored lies
Distilled and aged in new oak barrels
I have taken into myself daily
Toxic by-products of self-hate and corn mash
Until, finally, it seeps from my pores
And runs from my skin in rivulets
Dripping from my fingertips
Into the baby-bird mouths of my children
I have spun the bottle only to find it pointing
At the empty space that used to be you
I have kissed the unmoving air there
And burned my lips on your frigid ghost
I have whispered countless prayers
For serenity, courage and wisdom
Supplicated from my knees to on high
Finding only chaos, cowardice and confusion
I have loved to the brink of disaster
Teetered upon the precipice, only to be
Pulled into the abyss by your helplessness
To once again swim in silent volumes

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